Hello, my name is Sharon and I have a six-year-old daughter. My problem with her is that she wets her pants a lot. This happens during the day, and we have run tests on her to see if it is a physical problem, and they have all come back saying she is fine. She gets bladder and urine infections often, which are painful and uncomfortable, and cause her to have more accidents. She tells me she just didn't know she had to go, and what really gets me is she'll sit in it. She says she is afraid of getting in trouble and I've told her that I'm more upset when she sits in it and doesn't tell me. Her doctors have said it is normal for girls her age to have accidents, and I can see it if she is really busy playing and doesn't realize she needs to go, but that isn't always the case.

Hi, my daughter is 11 years old and very popular. She has developed and started her period. I feel that I'm being over protective. I get nervous when she's alone with a boy. She prefers hanging around with just boys. Sometimes there are three or four around. They are all good kids and very polite and come from good homes, but is there something I need to tell her or be doing? I don't want her to get a reputation. She is a very good girl and we do have open communication. Isn't 11 a little too young to have "BOYFRIENDS?" A It is natural to feel uncomfortable when our children take a big jump that we aren't necessarily ready for. You say that your daughter is 11, but well developed physically and perhaps emotionally.

Q Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have a 15-year-old daughter who seems to rather enjoy the company of older men.... some as much as seven years older. I believe this age gap at this young age is not acceptable. However, she feels she can have friends of any age. I don't think this is only a FRIEND! How can I convince her it is not a good idea and that the consequences could be devastating? She believes her older friends are totally harmless and would never do anything to hurt her, use or abuse her.

Jenny has it right when she says she thinks kids need structure, chores and rules. She recognizes that she has trouble following through. That's one step in the right direction. Jenny tends to request something of the kids and then immediately begins compromising and modifying her position.

QI am a parent of a 13-year-old girl who is in the seventh grade. We live in a small town in Oklahoma. My daughter has lots of friends, is really pretty and does well in school. The problem is she doesn't want to go to school. She actually makes herself sick to keep from going. It has gotten so bad that I have been turned in to the District Attorney because she's missed so much school. I love my daughter and I want her to do well and go to school. I've tried talking, listening and begging and I can't figure out what the problem is and neither can the school.

QI am writing to ask you how I should handle my problem with my 14-year-old nephew who refuses to go to school. My sister, whose son I am talking about, has several children from two marriages. She is currently living with a man who is the father of one of those children. He beats her regularly. She has left this man several times and each times swears she will not return. The last time she left, she came to stay in my house with her four children. After one month, she decided to return to her husband, the man who keeps beating her.

Q: Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Hi, my concern is of my five-year-old son. I really think he has panic attacks and I don't know how to deal with this. It started about a month and a half ago at preschool. He said he was scared to be there alone without me anymore and wouldn't stay. I haven't been able to leave him there without a fight ever since. Nothing has happen to him there he just started fearing me leaving him. He gets hysterical and inconsolable. He also says that he feels like throwing up and that his throat feels funny.

I am so glad I found this web site. I am in a terrible situation. My husband is a "loud," yelling person. He thinks that this kind of discipline works. It just makes things worse in our home. We have two children. Our son is 12 and our daughter is 11. The yelling has been going on for years and now our children yell, especially our son. There is so much anger in the home. I am looking into family therapy for my children and myself. My spouse will not go. I have spoken to my husband numerous times before about this problem.

I thought that Cary did a wonderful job of dealing with her son's distress. She was there for him without pressuring him, and eventually he was able to open up and unload a bit. He knows that she cares and he has a safe place to bring up difficult issues. Cary knows what is going on with her child and while it is distressing that she can't control everything in his environment, she is better off knowing than not knowing.

Q :Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have a six-year-old (one of four girls) who I am a little concerned about. She floats into her own world and talks and plays with imaginary people and it is difficult to get her to snap out of it without tapping her on the shoulder or shaking her. She is so engrossed that she notices little of what is going on around her. However she seems to be managing to find plenty of friends and play normally with them as well. She has been in first grade for two months and seems to be coping OK with that.